Creative Nonfiction & Poetry by Judith Armatta

On Binaries

by Judith Armatta

He criticized my wearing black. Widow's weeds, he said, and I was only 22. No one close had died except my grandpa. I didn't see it that way. I could hide in black, be almost invisible. Hide an imperfect body. Black moods, not so much. 

At night, blackness revealed the stars’ sparkle, while cloaking wildness trying to live among us, also evil sneaking up.

Black was marshmallows too long in the fire. The bottom of a forgotten pan gone dry on the stove. It was berries in August with vanilla ice cream. And it was my friend’s perfect judo kick.

A Black Maria arriving in early morning brought terror to enemies of the state who disappeared.

My post op face turned black and scared the dentist and all the waiting patients.

Black for funerals, white for weddings and first communions. Chinese tradition requires white for mourning. I wore a black dress at my wedding. White whispered from underneath.

We contrast black with white and pronounce one bad, one good, stuck in binary thought. Black skin, white skin. Where does brown fit? Where beauty? Is not skin deep.

I had three cats, two white, one black. They were not binaries. They were complexities. A gray cat adopted us. The three others were prejudiced. They did not like him.

Black is the absence of . . . red, yellow, green, blue. Black absorbs.

After living eons in the light, we will all disappear into a black hole. Which could be another universe. Or nothing.

Chasing Words

by Judith Armatta

I used to put them in a jar
Uncommon words
Jimjams
Jiggery pokery
Crepuscular
Common and lovely words
Dusk
Courage
Star rain

Just now I went to take them out
Dusty, ignored for years
I shook out words
And a dead fly
More words
And a dead bee
I kept the bee

Snollygoster
Lycanthrope
Dysgenic


Solitude
Death
Joy


They fall out
Or I pull them out with tweezers
Until they all lay scattered on my desk

Is this where they’ve been hiding
As the white page looks at me
Empty
As my mind?


A jar of words
To make a story
Or a life

About the Author: 

Judith Armatta is a lawyer, journalist, and human-rights advocate who monitored the trial of Slobodan Milošević on behalf of the Coalition for International Justice. For over two decades, she has worked to increase awareness of and response to violence against women and children. Armatta currently consults and writes on international humanitarian, human rights, and U.S. Criminal Justice issues. Armatta’s book, Twilight of Impunity: the War Crimes Trial of Slobodan Milošević, was published in 2010 by Duke University Press. http://www.juditharmatta.com/